i think that i am obsessive person. i find something i like. i get an idea and then BAM i obsess over it until it is done. until it is over. then, after i'm done, i am a little blank. i am a little washed out like a chalk drawing on sidewalk after it's rained.
my poor husband. he is beyond amazing and takes care of me when i'm high on my ideas or totally blank and out of inspiration. like an empty, dry mug of tea, which is a very sad thing in itself.
this is what i think... my husband is very perceptive.
a few days ago i was working on a gift for someone. a cute little piece for their little baby. in any case things weren't going so well with this little gift. i kept sewing it wrong or messing up the patterning. i threw it across the room a few times and probably swore a lot, all while my husband calmly made dinner in the kitchen. a while later, when we were sitting at the table finishing up our little concoction of food and sipping our preferred drinks(wine cooler for me, amber ale for him), husband turns to me.
"you know" he says, slowly putting down his fork, "you really are an artist."
"what do you mean?" i ask laughing.
"you know... you get really upset sometimes and throw your stuff on the ground. And you hate it sometimes and you are such a perfectionist. "
"yep." i say sipping my fuzzy navel
"but you love it, you think about it all the time. you HAVE to do it, your that involved. it's just crazy."
i laugh.
it's funny to live with someone and then have them tell things about yourself. i guess he is right though. little emo artist that i am. sometimes i wish i wasn't. sometimes i wish i just liked doing this instead of needing to in order to feel like my universe is in place.
sigh.
at least it's not boring here!
more tea.
-bek
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