Wednesday, April 28, 2010

engagement pictures...

oh how i love this boy! pictures by

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

one week.

busy week in california. we bought caleb's ring. looked at lots of little apartments while it rained like it only can in the central valley in the spring. we got engagement pictures taken in san francisco. we went to movie. i tanned. i had my first bridal shower and wrote thank you notes. caleb worked. i made playlists for the wedding while listening to harry potter and drinking tea. we went out to eat. we read together. i cried as i realized i'm leaving wisconsin while caleb held me and stroked my hair. we worked out three times and went running twice. i beat him sprinting the last few blocks and the next time he beat me. we kissed and fought. it's been a good week. i am going home on thursday and will not see him until the 25th of may, 10 days before the wedding. breathe.

i feel like i should have more to say because i've had to much to think about, but these keys feel like strangers under my fingers and my head feels blank.
maybe tomorrow.


Saturday, April 17, 2010

the next version...

and then life sweeps you up into its arms and you are so busy you almost forget to drink your tea.
deep breath.
it has been too long since i've taken the time to write. funny to think in busy london i somehow found the time to write either here or in a notebook every few days. entries about love and school, fashion and travel. now i am home in green wisconsin, surrounded by my family and friends and a two page "To Do" list that i will, will, WILL have finished before june 5th! damnit!
june 5th. 7 weeks. 49 days.
and then it all changes. and then i become the next version, move onto the next place and begin my new adventure with my hot best friend at my side. smile. i am getting married.
so surreal.
one day you are playing run away from the orphanage, then you are drooling over your current crush, then you are applying for colleges, finding your own voice and soon you stop. look in the mirror and realize this is it. it has begun. the beginning of the rest of it all.
sometimes i get sad. i get worried that i am somehow killing some part of myself with the words "i do", that she will be dead and gone. sad. i like that bekah. the crazy, traveler bekah who doesn't need anyone's second opinion because she is so sure of her own. but wait. i'm not killing her, she is just growing, and changing and obtaining a new companion. one who happens to know and love all versions of her no matter how feminist that one certain part of her is (oh ani!). this new companain who has chosen to love and care for me, who has been doing so for quite some time now. oh how i love him!
and then....
mrs. adams.
so happy to go forward yet so content and greatful for these few weeks left. i need to smell the cool spring a bit longer, and have random picnics in the barn with my little sisters. i need to run up and down these gravel hills a few more times with my dear friends before i go run the flat sunny pavement with him. happy. anxious. in love.
currently wearing: long sleeve thermal, sweats and thick, thick socks.