Wednesday, February 24, 2010

a stranger's word...

caleb pointed out a few weeks ago that all of my writing seems to start with a sip of some hot beverage. he is right. next to be right now is a steaming cup of coco, rich and creamy and such a nice way to end a day. not that i don't write without tea or something of that nature, i write in my head all day, coming up with ideas about what to type when i get home as i splash through puddles or grip the handle on the tube. maybe i just need the comfort while i explore these ideas. tea does that.
last few days have been a little rough. not that i haven't been having an amazing time over here in london town, but now and then life does seem to take a quick detour down road which has alot of bumps. bumps that sometimes hurt. there have been good things too though. little surprises that make me smile and stand straighter. one such surprise happended yesterday....
i was walking to my internship, hands shoved in pockets, eyes straight ahead. it was very cold and my grey scarf was wound tightly around my face, covering my mouth and nose. i probably looked a bit odd but my trapped breath kept it warm beneath the fabric.
as i walked i thought and pondered, probably a little too much. as i headed down the crowded street wondered how i would react if caleb suddenly appeared and walked right by me. would i even notice him among all of these faces? would i cry or laugh or keep walking? then i wondered, a sense of hopelessness, rising up in my chest what would happened if i simply stopped walking and screamed at the top of my lungs, right there on that busy street. if i simply gave up and screamed caleb's name with all of the emotion and longing that has been welling up inside of me these past two months. but i kept on.
i blinked hard and quick as i demissed the idea and kept walking. be strong. be strong. you are alone and need to be strong. just then i looked up and saw i was about to pass quite a few people. egding over to the side of the pavement i saw a young man talking excitedly on his mobile and closer to me was an older man, hands in pockets like me. as we passed eachother, old and young, male and female, stranger and stranger he said something to me. he didn't look at me or stop he just said very clearly and strongly "Jesus loves you.". i shook my head as i kept walking. what? what did he just say? i turned around to look at him, to wonder if i had just imagined it, but the man was gone, swallowed up in the sea of people crowding the london streets. i turned back around. i smiled. i was loved. i didn't have to be strong. caleb was gone and although he loved me he wasn't there to hold me, or stroke my head and tell me it would be ok. but He was there. He had always been there and continually told me of His perfect love for me, through a message at church, or a bright sunny day or through a stranger. I smiled. "Jesus loves me", i thought and kept walking, down the cold brick streets.

Friday, February 19, 2010

outside the louve at night...

first impression of the city of lights...

the following i wrote on a postcard i bought at the eiffel tower...

today i met paris. at first i wasn't very impressed with this city. grey and big, filled with city noises and city smells, i thought it was just like any other place. but the day went on. a little cafe for lunch. walking around beaucoup de jardins. ordering une tasse de the avec lait at a cafe. seeing the tour eiffel lit up. going up to the very top, paris laid out in front of me like a sea of jewels. i was wrong. paris is more than just another place... it is paris.

also... throughout my week there i was trying to put my finger on how the city of lights was different from my own london. so this is what i've decided. london is your chum. london is a mate who you can go out and laugh and have a drink with at a pub. now this drink can be good or bad, and your experience can be one that leads to a life long friendship or a rude gesture and the slamming of a door. and paris... paris is like a lover. it romances you as soon as you step out the door and into the city air. with it's beautiful language being spoken, the many bakery shops in which you can order your pain du chocolat and an espresso, paris woos you right down to the way they say bonjour madame when you enter a shop. however, this city, like a lover also has it's downsides. such as rude people looking down upon you for not knowing how to ask perfect directions in french, to the acrid smell of body order, or the many piles of dog crap that litters quite a few streets. it is very, very beautiful but also a bit dirty and smelly.
what do you think? those of you reading that have been to both cities, am i right?

what we actually did there...

i recently went to paris, from the 8th-12th, with a school trip. on said trip we were given a tour of the fashion in paris, how the two are connected and more importantly how this city is both known for art and fashion. two great things for a city to be known for in my opinion.over our week in paris we saw many things. each day was different from the next, full of new places, new cafes to explore and shops to drool in. throughout the week we did the following...
-went for walking tours on which our guide, two teachers from school, talked about the history of paris and it's relationship with fashion and art. we saw old squares, huge buildings, historic shops, and the "tour eiffel"!
-went shopping! we stumbled into every store from dior, prada and other places i was afraid of touching ANYTHING in, to little out of the way boutiques in which i would never buy anything from, to fabric markets and middle of the road places where i did buy things. these things included... leather lace up combat looking boots, a black felt hat compete with brim and bow to hide under, lace for my veil(smiles), fabric to make a swimsuit cover up for my honey moon (smirk) and a few random postcards.
-went out to eat. if i noticed anything in paris it was how expensive it is to eat there! 2.60 euros pour une tasse du the! and seeing how i need tea i shook my head, smiled and put down the 2.60 and drank in the sweet taste.
-visited museums. we went to the louve, and the museum d'orssay. i can't tell you how much i love art. it is so beautiful. far be it from me to know how someone can use simple paint and canvas or a block of stone and a set of tools to create something so amazingly inspiring. needless to say i was all but drooling when i saw paintings by degas and the amazing sculptures such as the goddess of victory nike. she was incredible!
on our last night in paris we got all dressed up and went to a jazz club which was in the basement of a stone pub. it was great. so many couples in love and dancing, old and young, talented and not, and one older, somewhat creepy frenchmen who upon asking me to dance was given the sweet reply of "non merci". we also went out to a few other places and i have decided that 1. french pubs all seem to play music from 10 years ago. 2. it is super funny to hear justin timberlake's music sung with a french accent. and 2. that i was ridiculously awear of by surroundings, including frenchmen, the whole time and wanted nothing more than to get out of those packed places and sit and have a quiet cup of tea with my californian.
on our last day in paris, and the main reason why we went there, we attended "Premiere Vision" which is a giant trade show of fabrics, colors, techniques and trend forecasting for next season. there were over 100,000 people there all researching color combinations and new fabrics. the security was very, very tight and there were no pictures or sketches allowed so everywhere you looked professionals and students alike were writing like mad in little notebooks.
it was an amazing opportunity and i felt very happy and content to be involved in such a creative industry.
so that in a long winded post was my trip to paris.

a bit of paris....

my window is partly open. the sun is streaming in through the many clouds that cover the cold english sky. so much grey. so many clouds. but the sun still shines it's rays hitting me with warm that reminds me fiercely of summer and california and that boy who waits for me there.
sorry that i haven't updated in so long and that i haven't written much about paris. i guess i've just been busy. i did write alot while in paris though, on paper not electronically, so i will share some of that this morning.

we were climbing out of the metro, people all around. bodies pressed together as the masses crowded to the stairs toward the cold french air. you can't help but look down as you walk, as you push and shove through the people, up the narrow steps. a couple in front of me talking quietly in french as we approached the stairs. their voices mingling with other voices echoing off the concrete walls as we climbed up. then the cold air, mingled with bits of snow, blew in as we neared the top, neared the outside world. there was the sky, the cold dark sky. about to reach the street with only a few steps left i listened as the lovers conversation ended and then as if they were a single mind, a single heart beat they joined hands. it was so beautifully mutual i smiled. for an instant the world stood still on that metro step, between the tunnels below and paris above. all was quiet in that moment and i felt as if i was witnessing a secret, a beautiful secret. it was such an ordinary action and yet still it make me happy and sad all at once. yes, the city was dark, yes it was huge but love was abundant you only need look for it. then the moment was over. the noisy world came back into focus. we reached the street, the couple was gone, and i walked on emptied handed, into the city of lights.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

empty shop...

i'm sitting in an empty shop where i intern, holding the fort down while my designer is out for the day. i am here, quietly sipping tea, helping the occasional customer and designing beachy clothing to make for my honeymoon. smile. viva mexico!
i haven't blogged in a while as life has been getting busier. school is starting to get a little hectic with midterm papers looming in a week and the fashion show just four weeks away. i'm also going to paris monday-friday so that cuts out on homework time... but i'm going to paris! i'm so excited to finally go to the city i've been dreaming about since i was in middle school trying to memorize "je suis. tu es. il es...." and so on. oh life. how it moves and changes right before your eyes. sometimes i feel like shouting "wait slow down!". i'll walk down the street and feel like i'm in fast forward mode, people rushing past me, my hair flying back. then again... sometimes i wish i could go forward, onward to the next step but my feet are stuck in glue and i can't move. all in all i am content, or trying to be at least. God has really been teaching me to be content and not so dependant on caleb. i mean, yes of course i am dependant on him, as i think it should be, but i need to be more dependant on God. i need to crave quiet time with my Father more than with my fiance. anyway... that's what i've been learning this past week...
well... i think that's all i got for now.
take care.