Sunday, January 22, 2012

hello. you must be my new life?

january. oh dear, sweet january, with your cold windy days and long rainy nights.
oh january. how i loathe you.
along with the rain, january has also brought "my new life".
"hello new life. i am bekah."
"hello bekah. i am your new life."
new life and i are still getting to know one another. in the mornings we drink tea alone together, staying cozy warm in my giant white comforter that husband bought me for christmas. we stay up very, very late and can't seem to sleep very well in this big bed. like that joni mitchell song "the bed's too big, the frying pan's too wide.". new life and i have also started school. it's nice to be a student again although i feel too old to be with people my own age. new life and i go to the gym a lot and go for nice saturday afternoon jogs in the park. new life sometimes makes me cry and crumple up into a little ball, my head to my chest, my eyes red and puffy. new life is exciting, frustrating, depressing and strengthening. sometimes new life makes me very upset. but then i breathe in and out, make tea and remember that it will make me stronger.
"hello new life. i am bekah. i am going to kick your ass."
"hello bekah. i am ready."

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


i love this picture of marilyn monroe. i feel like this is me this week. cozy sweaters. blankets. messy hair. that face. that intense face. lips pursed. eyes full of feeling. so much feeling. if only she was holding a cup of tea.