June 10th

So I am here. California. This is what I have been waiting for these past 7 months. Dang.
Short sentences generally indicate that I cannot hold onto one thought for very long and instead can only just grasp a few key ideas from my head and formulate them into words. Deep breath. Caleb is gone. I dropped him off yesterday morning at the National Guard place where he met up with his unit and started packing for his two week long training. They left this morning on a caravan of 10 trucks and hummers. It’s really strange that I am dating a guy in the military. I guess I always thought I would be with a fellow artist or doctor or something of that nature. I suppose that Caleb isn’t going to be in the army forever as he wants to be a philosophy professor after college. And being a teacher is a form of art but instead of spreading ideas and concerns with words and fabric it uses knowledge. I got here on the 1st, which seems like just yesterday. I guess when you have been waiting for something for so long a week goes by pretty fast.

I’m too tired to write anymore. Even though it’s only 4pm in the afternoon. I think I might be getting sick or something… I felt like I was going to faint today in church. I’ve been feeling tired all the time. Ah. I’m only 21. This is not good. Tea and sleep and maybe some vogue reading. I will write more tomorrow though… I’ve promised steve I will write a lot this summer. Sometimes I think he doesn’t think I will make it as a designer… maybe I did choose wrong. No. Now it’s just the lack of sleep talking. I love what I do and can’t wait to see where God takes me.
-bekah