the first artist

             When I see pictures like the one below of a star being born, taken by NASA (found here), I remember that our God is truly an artist. Not only is He an artist, but it was the first artist and gave us the ability to create as well. When I stop and think about that concept, the fact that my God granted me the desire and gave me the resources to form new ideas, new concepts, new pictures, and new clothing my heart flutters a little bit. I am so humbled by the fact that I have the privilege to create. Even though I feel like a 5 year old excitedly showing a parent scribbles on paper, I know that my God smiles when I use these fingers to create something new. I know that He is smiling when I work late into the night draping and sewing and trying to channel my inspiration into a garment. I only hope and pray that my creations might show Him to those around me, whether that is by making someone feel special, or beautiful or even just getting someone to smile. My hope is that they might see Him in everything I do. I am more than excited to see where my path will lead and how I will continue to be inspired by the first artist. 

odd man out

my semester is finally wrapping up, i am but one project submission away from being done with my first year at my adorable southern college. it has been a crazy year. i have learned a lot about myself, my beloved major and what it is like to be the odd man out. we have been living in the south for almost a year now and i am happy to say i still feel like a fish out of water. it has been interesting coming into such a small school as a senior transfer from the other side of the country. i have made friends and have most likely surprised or even frightened a lot of the girls here. someone's gotta do it. for my last project in CAD i did this...

isn't it amazing and weird and different? i love the way it turned out. i scared the hell out of my poor classmates when i told them i was going to put fox heads on my croquis. "but won't that be creepy?" they said "why don't you have them wear fox masks instead?". because... i like creepy, thanks. i have been in college long enough to know that now is the time to push ourselves and try the weird crazy ideas. if they don't work at least you had the balls to try something different, and if they do work you will get an a on your project and be proud of how far you have come.
i love being the odd man out and hope that i will always have the gumption to try new things even when people are apprehensive.
-the yankee

i am.

i am a well informed civilian.
i am in love with a phantom.
i am a writer of letters.
i am a wearer of his flannels.
i am someone who has patience with those who don't understand.
i am one who knows it could be worse.
i am one who holds her tongue.
i am a fitful sleeper.
i am a runner.
i am sometimes too quick to say what i really think.
i am a believer in multiple locks and door stoppers.
i am always counting down.
i am...

i am the daughter of a king who is not moved by the world.
for my God is with me and goes before me.
i do not fear because i am His.

i am more than this empty bed.

hello dream job.

in december i am [finally] graduating from college with my bachelors of science degree in fashion design and merchandising. when i was 17 i decided i really want to pursue fashion as a career and ever since then people have been asking me what my "dream job" would be once i graduated. the job description has changed from big name designer to anything in as long as it's in paris, to something in fair trade. recently i started as an intern for a local fair trade clothing company who specializes in partnering with women artisans in india. it's been a lot of work and very challenging for me as it's a new company and needs lots of tender loving care. but i love it. 

recently, someone asked me what i wanted to do when i graduated, what was my dream job. i stopped a minute about to recite the practiced speech and then realized... i am doing it. i want to be doing what i'm doing right now, using my talents, skill and passions to help those who don't have a voice, in this case promoting fair trade, sustainable fashion. 

true, life will take me somewhere new after graduation and i will find another place to work, but for now, i am happily helping to create products that are fashion forward and ethically made. 

i am doing it.

recent jacket from fall 2013 line. l to r, designer's original sketch. what i created based on the sketch including alterations designer wanted, patterning, sewing. the finished product on a model. 

www.symbologyclothing.com

full

life has been busy.
[mmm... i don't like that word. let's try again.]
life has been full.
[much better.]
life has been full of half drunk cups of tea,  piles of homework, medicine in the form of vitamin c and long talks with God. it as been full of learning how to breathe suspended breaths in yoga, reading letters from husband, endless abouts of fabric and thread littering my floor and working as an intern. there have been late nights and very, very early mornings, sketching, tutoring, driving, and desperate phone calls to sisters. life has been full.
it has been good.
it is good.

some kind of love.

a little something i made in cad class last week. so simple and true. i am in love. he is amazing and i am so thankful for everyday with him, even if those days are not physically with him.
living in the moment and grateful for the time we have together.

sometimes

prologue:
she sits with a cup of tea, cut off sweats, her hair clean and loose.
::
i've been processing a lot recently. everything from being a brunette, graduating in a few short semesters to moving across country again, looking for a grown up job and that constant goodbye that must be said.
life is a constant ebb and flow.
sometimes, i ride the waves, cautiously at first but then with eagerness and excitement. i ride and when i'm finished am searching for the next challenge.
but sometimes, i watch the waves from the comfort of my safe little world, a familiar world with all of its corners explored long ago.
sometimes the ebb and flow feels more like a push and shove.
i suppose the point it that it goes on, as will i, as will you.
we continue. we endure.
::
epilogue:
she put away the computer. got her cup of tea and sat on the porch, studying, enjoying the cold.
a car pulled into the drive. she smiled as she watched him turn off the engine, shut the door and walk towards her.