christmas was a whirlwind of snow, late nights, laughs, adventures and seeing dear friends and family. we were in wisconsin for a whole 9 days, including travel days, and still i feel like we weren't there long enough. so many people still to see, so many places to reminisce. i wish we could have stayed longer, much, much longer. yet, i am happy to be back, happy to be here in our little apartment with our little routine.
there were a few days in the middle of our stay in wisconsin in which i felt splintered, very splintered. driving through menomonie on our way to meet with friends my heart hurt. i didn't realize how much i missed that little college town until i came back. i felt like i should stay there and caleb should leave. i felt like i needed to go back to where i was. but i can't and i realized, as i talked to friends, that i didn't want to. i have changed, they haven't and i can't go back now. so i smiled, imagining college bekah walking those cold wisconsin streets, as we drove away.
new years eve was a beautiful intimate night spent with my love at "saffron", an amazing restaurant in minneapolis. we got dressed up and sipped wine and ate 6 courses of delicious food served by my amazing brother-in-law, who works there. just before midnight we talked about the coming year, about the trials and changes that will come. i realized as i looked at my husband that this year he will go, be it national guard or active, he will be deployed. we will be apart once again. sometimes i don't think i will be strong enough, sometimes i don't want to be. but life is just that... life. it ebbs and flows even if we don't want it to. change will come and it will test us and shape us into stronger better people.
at midnight we kissed, while snow fell outside and coldplay sang about yellow. it was an amazing night.
-bekah
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