home. christmas. wisconsin.
i am very excited to go home. very excited to see my family, my friends to breathe in the cold and smell the clean country air. very excited albeit nervous. yes nervous. you see i have been away for a while now, i cut my hair, my nails are almost always a bright turquoise now and i am married. i have been married for 6 months. i have changed. at least i think i have, i feel that i must have. with all of these changes, with so many break throughs, so much i have learned since that sunny day in june when we drove away. i feel like i must have changed. it's hard to tell when it's in yourself, when the change has been happening slowly, like fire licking quietly around the edges of paper. that's part of growing up though right? we change. we love and grow and fight and hurt and get hurt and change. it is good, this grown up change. even though it hurts sometimes more than words could express, it's good, it's needed. therefore i embrace you change. with these cold hands, i embrace you.
-bekah
Very good insight, Bek. I remember trying to articulate to some family members when we would see them once a or twice a year that they were expecting me to think, act and respond the same way I did last year or even ten years earlier and I had grown so much in the interim. It took a long time for all of us to notice that all of us had been growing in the in between times and to appreciate it and to anticipate it.
ReplyDeleteYour family has been through your situations a few times before your return home so you're lucky, you're not breaking them in. I know you'll have a wonderful time. Both my girls are so excited to see you!
We wouldn't mind getting to see you two as well but understand you'll be very very busy.
I am so excited to meet the new you!!! :P And the old you I suppose... if she comes along.
ReplyDeleteLOL, yes 45 degrees... you might die. But I think it happens to us when we get older, maybe old blood runs cold? I am SOOOO cold this winter (and its been a relatively warm one!) and am having to tell myself I like the snow much more than I actually enjoy it. Weird.
tammy: yes. my family has has experience in these matters. thank goodness! hope to see you too, although it's going to be a jam packed week!
ReplyDeletebeth: the old me will most likely show too. haha. love you friend:)