Wednesday, February 24, 2010

a stranger's word...

caleb pointed out a few weeks ago that all of my writing seems to start with a sip of some hot beverage. he is right. next to be right now is a steaming cup of coco, rich and creamy and such a nice way to end a day. not that i don't write without tea or something of that nature, i write in my head all day, coming up with ideas about what to type when i get home as i splash through puddles or grip the handle on the tube. maybe i just need the comfort while i explore these ideas. tea does that.
*sip*
last few days have been a little rough. not that i haven't been having an amazing time over here in london town, but now and then life does seem to take a quick detour down road which has alot of bumps. bumps that sometimes hurt. there have been good things too though. little surprises that make me smile and stand straighter. one such surprise happended yesterday....
i was walking to my internship, hands shoved in pockets, eyes straight ahead. it was very cold and my grey scarf was wound tightly around my face, covering my mouth and nose. i probably looked a bit odd but my trapped breath kept it warm beneath the fabric.
as i walked i thought and pondered, probably a little too much. as i headed down the crowded street wondered how i would react if caleb suddenly appeared and walked right by me. would i even notice him among all of these faces? would i cry or laugh or keep walking? then i wondered, a sense of hopelessness, rising up in my chest what would happened if i simply stopped walking and screamed at the top of my lungs, right there on that busy street. if i simply gave up and screamed caleb's name with all of the emotion and longing that has been welling up inside of me these past two months. but i kept on.
i blinked hard and quick as i demissed the idea and kept walking. be strong. be strong. you are alone and need to be strong. just then i looked up and saw i was about to pass quite a few people. egding over to the side of the pavement i saw a young man talking excitedly on his mobile and closer to me was an older man, hands in pockets like me. as we passed eachother, old and young, male and female, stranger and stranger he said something to me. he didn't look at me or stop he just said very clearly and strongly "Jesus loves you.". i shook my head as i kept walking. what? what did he just say? i turned around to look at him, to wonder if i had just imagined it, but the man was gone, swallowed up in the sea of people crowding the london streets. i turned back around. i smiled. i was loved. i didn't have to be strong. caleb was gone and although he loved me he wasn't there to hold me, or stroke my head and tell me it would be ok. but He was there. He had always been there and continually told me of His perfect love for me, through a message at church, or a bright sunny day or through a stranger. I smiled. "Jesus loves me", i thought and kept walking, down the cold brick streets.
*sip*
-bekah

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