like dust motes in the afternoon sun...

time slips. it moves, ebbing and flowing like a wave against the shore. like the fall and rise of the chest, breathing in and out, moving up and down. time seems to moving quickly, too quickly, and the remote is hidden somewhere beneath the couch so i can't even push pause.

deep breathe. in and out.

we've almost been married three months. august is halfway gone. school starts in a few weeks. i need a pause.

luckily it is friday and my dear husband has planned a little get away weekend for us. i am beyond excited! all i know is we are going somewhere by the ocean, somewhere with cool air.

oh marriage. oh life. how difficultly wonderful and sweet you are!

yesterday we were at bible study and someone asked us how married life has been. we both looked at each other and responded at the same time "it's hard".

it is.

when you are engaged everyone tells you their romantic stories, how lovey-dovey everything is in the beginning. then once you are married everyone consoles you, sharing their hard stories from their beginning. marriage is a lot harder than i thought it was going to be... but at the same time it is beyond amazing. i never knew i could love someone so deeply, so fiercely. love the fills you to the brim at the very sight of that person. happiness. contentment.

oh how i love him, my californian husband.

smile.

in my arms...

"here my dear, this is where we'll shake the nightmare free. i dream to hold you in my arms. i dream to hold you in arms, to hold you in my arms. wide awake in my arms."

that song has been stuck in my head all day. whether it's the rain that's been pouring all day, homework, stress or head ache due to lack of caffeine or something i miss caleb a lot todeay. yes. i do. i like this song because it makes me think of him. i just want to be there and have him hold me. 33 days.
i'm quite tired. my desk, where my lap top is sitting, is covered with an array of items including...
-thread.
-buttons.
-steaming cup of mint tea.
-half eaten apple.
-keys.
-phone.
water bottle.
-transcripts to send to SFSU this week.
-and lots of pins.
i'm in the middle of a big project for school. our assignment was to buy $20 or less of clothing at good will and remake them into something sweet. i like my progress so far... turquoise wool, black and grey suiting which i have pleated and inserted sweet shoulder pads and some cut outs. pretty amazing... i just hope i can finish it and better yet i hope my teacher thinks it's just as amazing. in my other apparel class today we got scolded(don't you love that word?) by our teacher for not pushing ourselves enough. i got a 83% on our first project and i guess it's one of the higher grades. oh life. oh school. oh God please help me finish well...
time to sew and drink tea and call my boy whom i love.
-bekah