stronger...

sometimes you don't want to become stronger, but you have to and so you do.

caleb was gone this past weekend at training. even though it was only a few days, nothing compared to what we've gone through, it was probably one of the hardest separations we've had in a while. it was the first time we've been apart since getting his ship date for january.

sometimes you don't want to become stronger...

i cried this past weekend. i slept in. i went to work. i rearranged our room. i hung out with friends. i went to work. i tried to imagine how i will do this in january. day after day, month after month. although it is nothing compared to some separations as i won't have to worry about his safety since he will be at training, it's still hard to process.

sometimes you don't think you can be stronger...

i picked him up yesterday around 4. we hugged and i told him i'd had a hard weekend. we stopped and got pizza (gluten free baby!) and drank wine and watched some tv and cuddled. he wrapped me up in his arms and took me to our bed. we spoke in quiet voices and were still.

sometimes you have to and so you do...

i kept waking up in the night, searching for his warmth. afraid he was gone. he pulled me closer and stroked my hair. "it's ok" he told me "i'm right here."

sometimes you don't want to become stronger, but you have to and so you do.

and so we do.